Dating the Internet

The internet doesn't necessarily make all social interactions easier or more fruitful. It simply accelerates whatever process is already taking place. The same can be said for online dating:

'The problem is simply that signalling interest in a female on most dating apps is too “cheap” — it costs nothing monetarily (which is why Superlike is brilliant), and requires little time or emotional investment.

Dating apps have become more like slot machines, where the promise of an occasional match keeps us swiping incessantly. This is called variable ratio reinforcement: the prize is unpredictable but it’s out there, which keeps us coming back for more.

This vicious circle of behaviour that forces men to adopt ‘extreme’ strategies leads to women getting inundated with ‘low-quality’ matches and messages, that might overwhelm them into abandoning the app altogether.'

Some apps are certainly meant for the sake of a quick lay, but even the ones that exist on the pretense of helping people start families grow in the same soil of instant gratification. People end up looking for a mate using precisely the same method they would to browse for a gadget on Amazon or find the most stimulating porn for the moment. Like most of the internet experience, it is a fluid interaction with variables which are, themselves, static. The About Me profile comes from the 'just be yourself' era. It promotes identity as a stagnat unit for the sake of self affirmation. When people interact in the real world, they're bound to encounter inconsistencies, flaws and growing pains manifesting in plain sight. Most people take for granted that, by being themselves, they remain idiots or unemployable or neurotic.

On the other hand, one who is constantly trying to better oneself is organically going to, at once, alienate people who do not want to better themselves and put one on the same track as others who are trying to better themselves. On this path, mates and friends always find each other, but it's never without struggle. One can only trade one's qualities as they stand right now for what they're worth right now. But if one of your qualities is a will to self betterment, what you end up being worth can never quite be measured, nor can it be bought.