Work and IBS

Leroy Benes

October 7, 2017


If you work at a job where going to the bathroom when you want is out of the question, quit. Just quit. Get your things, clear your desk, pull everything out of your locker, and go home.                                              

When we're children, we spend our lives wondering when we will cross that threshold where we become adults. When we become adults, we wonder why life can't be more childlike. What's responsible for this disparity? I think this problem stems, largely, from people in positions of power who don't think that going to the bathroom is a worthwhile or reasonable activity to undertake.

Irritable Bowel Sydrom is bullshit. It implies that there are a normal amount of times that everyone is supposed to visit the restroom on average. Any interruption that deviates from thankless, spiritless, meaningless tasks, whether biological or psychological, is considered a social aberration in need of medication so that we can rush people back to the office, the docks and warehouses to produce.

People want to simplify work by deregulating everything or by reallocating the work resources or the people using those resources, but it could be made simpler. Think of your average strike; a joke, limited by the amount of adjacent porta-potties, rife with breaks for bakery goods like donuts and pastries, a spectacle of such dramatic proportions that it often ends up being just as taxing on one's soul and energy as it would if one were to attend meetings all day, only without pay. A job's disproportion to nature can be measured precisely by its inability to cede to people's basic biological needs.

Yet, people want to talk about the gender wage gap. They want to talk about minority groups and unemployment rates. They want to talk about safe spaces at the workplace. What good is equality, equal opportunity at the workplace, safe spaces and higher pay rates going to get you if you're squeezing the contents of your intestines and bladder in for hours at a time, waiting for your next paltry, ten minute break, in which you are expected to, not only quickly and often inefficiently relieve yourself of such business, often in a far from clean stall, but also attend to your low blood sugar with a snack you can't finish on the way back to work because your boss sees you eating it on the sales floor, not to mention answering calls from spouses and children? If humanity can be boiled down to a life in which all are made to test the full capacity of their bladders and kidneys, perhaps humanity has taken a dreadfully wrong turn. I would argue that this is precisely how you can boil it down, in that ultra-production requires the negation of immediate biological necessity.

By holding your bowels and urine, think of all the plaque and sickness which builds up inside of you. Over time, this does a number on your nervous system. Soon, you find yourself angry and anxious for no reason. You perform something, for all intents and purposes, which seems like inverted yoga, disrupting your breath in such a way so as to keep yourself from ruining your pants, just so you can continue work on a task for which you couldn't possibly be getting paid enough to go through so much discomfort.

We need relief strikes.

Everyone make a point to go when you want, whether work is hectic or slow. If enough people do this,  it will be seen for what it is: a serious problem which will indirectly, over time, fix many other problems. Most problems at the work place are fictional. Start with the very real immediate abuse and depreciation of the human body.

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